I have never stepped foot in church except for one wedding and once on acid while in highschool did a photo shoot in a glorious church. I don’t believe in god, but Im not an atheist. Then what am I? I don’t want to wear the badge because it makes me part of “them” ; non-god believers. Im just me, a non god believing guy that happens to be attracted to other men. Sometimes , when I’m asked if I’m gay , I pause and then reply, ” Well, yeah… I guess I am gay.” Its confusing because the only thing that I am is me. I don’t actually think of being gay, I was born with that chip in my brain.
Searching for more out of life , trying to find more meaning to life than what my father beat into me, ” You’re born, you live ,then you get buried.” I knew there was more to my so-called life than that. In the later 90′s, one after the other I had buddhists march into my life. I read about 6 million books, bought the cute little wooden beads, practiced mediation, bought a buddha statue, took up yoga.. yadda yadda ( do people still say that?) I hit a point of over saturation and everything that made sense of life through buddhism started to drive me crazy. The whole, everything is nothing , and nothing is everything. And the one point about NO attachment, just didn’t make sense. I was trying to connect to the world, but had to stay detached?
The most dissapointing observation was that most of my gay friends who claimed to be buddhist were all for show. They had cute little atlers in their houses and posters of Indian gods on the walls. One friend even passed out cards that said ,” Practice Compassion. ” But I knew this guy well and saw what a hypocrite he was. He played the buddha card only when it improved his status amongst certain friends or to blow up his ego. You are told in buddhism to let go of your ego. But I have to say, every buddhist I have ever known has had the biggest ego about having no ego. Go figure. If I were to have to pick any organized religion it would be buddhism. But for now I’ll just go on being me. Maybe my father wasn’t so wrong after all. You’re born, you live you get buried, period.
A Quick “How to be Buddhist“. Do you have what it takes?
Here are the first Five Precepts. If you get stumped with these, I suggest NOT being a buddhist or pretending to be either.
- To avoid killing sentient beings
- To avoid stealing
- To avoid sexual misconduct
- To avoid lying
- To avoid taking intoxicants
What about SEX? What does buddhism say about that?
Most religions have rigid, elaborate rules about sexual conduct. Buddhists have the Third Precept — in Pali, Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami — which is most commonly translated “Do not indulge in sexual misconduct” or “Do not misuse sex.” However, for laypeople, the early scriptures are hazy about what constitutes “sexual misconduct.” < more >