Gays are so Persnickety; IN: Merkins OUT: Beards

by Accidental Bear

What Gays Will Love, Hate in ’11

These list are for the run of the mill boring queers anyhow that don’t think for themselves. So really pay no attention. But I wanted to hi-light # 1 on the list . Beards out. Sad to lose many of these young scruffy things growing out their baby beards, but YAY  for the real beardie-troopers , non-followers who will stand tall, stand hairy and bearded til the end. As far as merkins ,maybe I’ll sell my pubes for the cause of this new 2011 hairy trend. Hey times are tough.

OUT: Beards
IN: Merkins

Honestly, what self-respecting alt kid doesnt’ have a beard? Maybe razor purchases were a victim of the flagging economy or Abraham Lincoln is ascending to Bowie-like levels of iconhood, but a naked face is as common in the clubs these days as Michele Bachmann at a NAMBLA rally. They just aren’t there. How long can this last? I dread the day when beards go out of vogue, since I look like a pockmarked 12 year-old without one (and my stubborn Jewish stubble takes 45 minutes to fully eradicate) but I suspect their days are numbered.

So what will rise in their place? My theory is merkins. Pubic wigs. Pubesare already a viable fashion accessory for those not blessed with happy trails and mass-marketed merkins would be a logical extension of that. My guess is that Universal Gear will have its own merkin display by April.  By May the hipsters will already shun the overly-manicured Diesel line for the more shaggy, individualistic American Apparel options.

What Gays Will Love, Hate in ’11

By Editors


Blogger and Advocatecontributor Zach Rosen has a few guesses as to what will be in and out for fickle gays and lesbians this year, and he includes everything from Betty White to ENDA to merkins.

Writing on, Rosen predicts shifting gay allegiances concerning marriage equality (out), an LGBT employment discrimination bill (in), Lady Gaga (out), and pubic wigs (in). “My guess is that Universal Gear will have its own merkin display by April,” writes Rosen.

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