Cruising or Ordering a Burger, You need to be Specific

by Accidental Bear

Personal preference and offensive. Or is this just our insecurities about wanting everyone to like you. I’ve have had interest in men before and they have expressed that they ONLY LIKE ( attracted to) Asians , but I did’nt cry or scream racism. Also back in my dating days I would read profiles stating that they ” ONLY LIKE SMOOTHE MEN”. I didn’t read this as , they hated me for being hairy, but that they just woudlnt want to be intimate with me. These are hook up sites ( sexual encounters), so I personally think its ok to be specific as you want to be. Almost like ordering a burger. Medium or rare? Blue cheese or cheddar? In order to get what you want, you have to express exactly what you want and don’t want. Just because a person states they are only looking for ‘white men’ doesn’t mean they are KKK. Stop reading to much between the lines because it just makes thing blurry.



Profile prejudice

Photograph: Li Kim Goh 

The rise of gay dating websites and apps like Gaydar and Grindr has exposed a troubling undercurrent of what one campaign group calls ‘sexual racism’ – the tendency for some users to include statements like ‘no Asians’ or ‘blacks only’ in their profiles.  While those users might claim that such statements are fair, or even trivial, for others they represent a stinging attack on their ethnicity and dignity. So, what’s the truth: is ‘no Asians’ a way to express a harmless personal preference? Or is it actually offensive, or even harmful – and if so, how can it, and statements like it, be tackled?

Gaydar revolutionised gay sexual freedom when it took advantage of an increasingly sophisticated online scene back in the early 2000s.  Roll the calendar forward to the 2010s, and GPS-enabled smartphones make it even easier for gay guys to meet each other using apps like Grindr.  It’s never been easier to find sex, dates and relationships; some might even claim that for the gay community, still relatively marginalised and isolated as recently as a decade ago, Gaydar, Grindr and the like have made life better. Unless, that is, you’ve been written off as unattractive because of the colour of your skin. READ MORE

Hiding behind anonymity? 

2 Comments to “Cruising or Ordering a Burger, You need to be Specific”

  1. To charges of sexual racism, I reply: My body is not a democratic constitutional republic. I’m not oppressing you, and you don’t have a right to sleep with me.

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