As I approached my conversation with Chloe I thought of it like a secret mission, being dropped from a helicopter onto an untouched island in search of yet found orchids. If I were to name an orchid, it would be called Chloe and it would smell of lavender and a mist of sage. I also sharpened my interviewing tools and studied the dictionary, afraid that I might not be able to understand the complex, advanced and evolved language that rolls off her tongue like butter. Chloe was gracious to any of the questions I tossed at her and I left no rock unturned.
Chloe is famous for her provocative, luxurious, yet informative videos on Youtube and her love of toast and the good life. Like Lady Gaga and Mork from Mork & Mindy, I questioned whether she was born in or has spent time incubating in an egg, her thoughts are so developed. Let’s dive right into our scrambled conversation. I have one request, to warm you up, like a good dose of Ben-Gay, watch Chloe’s video dedication to Memorial Day first. Thank me later. Like Chloe says, ” Lets take this time to remember our memories.”
Q & A: Let the games begin…
A B: Where do you come from?
Chloe: I hail from the East Village, Plymouth Rock, Reykjavik, Connecticut, and the recesses of a dream.
A B: Your taste is exquisite and so refined. What was your childhood like?
Chloe: My childhood was full of lessons. Also, I was given access to she-crab at an early age, which I believe helps my scope.
A B: It seems like things are always being brought to your attention. Where are these things brought to your attention coming from or whom?
Chloe: Oh, Mike, I cannot reveal my sources. Let’s just say I have an abundance of awareness.
A B: Are you an off the grid kind of girl or are you packing smart phone, ipad etc
Chloe: If I could be a berry gatherer in Tuscany, I would do that. But I quite simply cannot.
A B: What kind of outfit would you wear for a romantic picnic in the park?
Chloe: I’d be adorned in a pleated houndstooth tweed half-waistcoat by Viktor & Rolf, shredded mock denim mini pants from my personal collection, an East African paper parapluie by Lilly Pulitzer, and an air of pleasure.
A B: Your vocabulary is so eloquent. As a young lady, who were your role models?
Chloe: Marcel Proust, Marilyn Vos Savant, and The Reverend Run.
A B: Favorite colors?
Chloe: Mild aubergine, hot grey, and pig.
A B: If you were to go on a hot air balloon with one person, who would you choose?
Chloe: ALF.
A B: Where do you stand on homosexuals getting married?
Chloe: I don’t think it’s polite to stand on homosexuals, married or otherwise.
A B: Are you romantically involved?
Chloe: I’m in love with the concept of both romance and involvement. I’m currently dating myself, in order to better understand my spirit. Also, I’m fucking others.
A B: Most of our readers are bearded men. How does that make you feel? I want to point out, or bring to your attention that you may have a Bear fetish.
Chloe: Good evening, bears. I admire your thirst for honey. May you find it in any hole, nook, or crevice. Delight in such a quest. For it is you who hold the keys to the dance floor. My favorite bears are Michael Chiklis, Yogi, and Ingrid Sischy.
A B: What is your favorite bathroom soap shape?
Chloe: Tetrahedron.
A B: Have ever had a lesbian experience?
Chloe: I recently attended a performance of “Last Summer At Bluefish Cove”, starring Kelly McGillis, Meredith Baxter, and Kate Clinton. I liked the costumes.
A B: IHOP or Red Lobster?
Chloe: No.
A B: What inspires you getting dressed in the morning?
Chloe: I’m inspired by the fauna that resides in my window hamper, and I usually make a few calls to the Benaki Museum in Athens, Greece.
A B: Do have any advice for young LGBT folks who may be getting bullied in high school?
Chloe: Take my advice – act as if you’re possessed by a daemon – get really deep and Satanic about it. Make them believe that if they bother you, you will rape their soul. That worked for me.
A B: Tell a secret that we will be shocked to find out about you?
Chloe: I’ve never worn socks!
A B: In the next year or so what are your goals and dreams?
Chloe: To re-imagine the concept of ennui, to rekindle my friendship with Lukas Haas, and to eat more water.
Chloe: Double barrel salute!!
For more of Chloe’s brilliance CLICK
Video info: Written and performed by Drew Droege, Directed by Jim Hansen with Jesse James Rice
Accidental Bear 