I think I may be alone here, but even as a view porn I day-dream. I dissect the actors awkward dialogue and fore play scenes. I wonder if they are into “it” or desperate for money. I wonder what their family life might be like or if they have a partner. I wonder what their partner may think of their chosen career. Living in the gay capital of the world, San Francisco, I have gotten to know, in a non-biblical sense, a handful of men with thriving adult careers. I have alway been delighted to find the most creative, ambitious, warm-hearted and compassionate beings with an articulate voice and strong point of views. It just so happens they are well oiled machines and gifted in front of the camera as well.
Local resident Conner Habib has just that voice I speak of, with words powerful as a wind storm and a soul with depth as large as the grand Canyon. I had the pleasure of reading a new entry on Connor’s blog and feel it is my duty to share with you. This store titled “If you ever did write anything about me, I’d want it to be about love” is powerful recollection of a story that has no doubt shaped the being of who he is today. Enjoy and brace yourself.
“If you ever did write anything about me, I’d want it to be about love”
by Conner Habib
There’s no way to begin this story where it started, so I’ll tell you its end first.
It ends with a night when a man – just barely a man, mostly a boy, full of jokes and laughter and passionate opinions – held me down on the thick black asphalt of the parking lot by my neck.
It ends with him driving his knee into my stomach, bursting parts of my intestines and telling me he should kill me. When I stood up, he punched me in the side and broke my rib.
We said we were in love.
Accidental Bear 