We Peeled Back Chloe’s Mask and Found Comedian Drew Droege | Rib-tickling Interview

by Accidental Bear

Like peeling a banana peel to get the the sweet- sticky inside, I set out on a mission. I wanted to rock climb down into the depth’s of Chloe’s soul. Some of us are in denial that Chloe is not a real person but a well crafted character. In order to scale that dark, elegant cob-webby soul I had to track down the hilarious comedian Drew Droege who plays Chloe “I like toast” Sevigny. Move over Amy Sedaris, Drew is here. Researching Drew’s background I found myself crippled with laughter. His conversational skills hit a magic yellow note  which causes some to pee themselves.

” Drew Droege is a delightful comedy sprite who brings us a heaping spoonful of Glitter in the Garbage each week. He teaches improv at The Groundlings, rocks out in the band The Discount Cruise to Hell, and plays one of the world’s most beloved fantastical creatures in Planet Unicorn. If you google Chloe Sevigny, one of the first results is one of Drew’s videos gently teasing the fashion-designer-actress-model-weirdo. Listen to Glitter in the Garbage each Thursday on Earwolf!” Drew on FACEBOOK 

Drew , lets talk and keep things real: 

Accidental Bear: To get things going, I want to spring out of the gate and first ask about your band The Discount Cruise to Hell? I am laughing on the inside and out. Or should I be crying?  

Drew Droege: Hahah – first of all, I LOVE that this is your first question for me.  The Discount Cruise to Hell is a glitter-glam-gore-cabaret that’s designed to be your cruise ship entertainment after you’ve died and been condemned to Hell.  Fun, right?  I’ve honestly never regretted a single show, because it’s so free and balls-out.  When we miss a note, we scream “Fuck you!  You’re in Hell!”  Awesome.  Sometimes I play a dead 8-year-old chorus boy from the 20s named Lil Jackie Stardust (ie. “Day of the Locust”), and sometimes I play the King of the Lotus Eaters (from “The Odyssey”).  Yeah, it’s super pretentious and stupid at the same time.  My favorite.

A B:  I have to talk about the pink elephant in the room, Chloe. After our interview with Chloe, more often than not, people talk to me in metaphors and emulate her every move. Chloe, who, what, where and why?

Drew:  Chloe came to me as a happy accident – I tried on a wig for something else and realized that I looked like her.  This was many years ago, and she was SUPER indie at the time. So, many (most) audiences didn’t get it at all.  But I love the real person and her style is so remarkably insane, so I LOVE playing her.  I don’t think it would be a hit if I hated the real Chloe.  And then I created this crazy voice and metaphorical jargon for her, to make her more of an original character.  

A B: Who writes Chloe scripts and do you pee yourself laughing while doing it?

Drew: I write most of them – my director Jim Hansen contributes a lot of jokes, too.  He totally gets her patter and we do make each other laugh – a lot.  But I never know which jokes will land and which won’t.

A B: How did you get into comedy?

Drew:  I tried for years to be a serious actor – in college I did a lot of drama and got MANY unintentional laughs.  I broke my arm doing Shakespeare (seriously), so I went to the Groundlings School and never looked back.  


A B: In high school were you the class clown or were you tormented for  being “different” (assuming you were). 

Drew: I was officially deemed the Class Clown, but I was also the Valedictorian and kind of an asshole.  I was always doing impressions of the teachers, which I think made me popular.  But then I made good grades and mocked people, which I regret.  I thought I knew everything.  I’m glad I knew that I would get out of Lincolnton, NC, but I hate that I was a dick to people.  Then, I got caught smoking pot at an honors convention, so I lost all my awards/scholarship money.  That was a WONDERFUL thing to happen to me at 18.  For so many reasons….


 A B: What is life like in West Hollywood for a young gays trying to make it in show business?

Drew:  Full of vodka and regret!  

A B:  Is going the porn route a legitimate way to go?

Drew: Oh, you’ve seen my earlier work?? 

A B: Alcoholics Anonymous, is it for quitters or do you see a real drug and alcohol problem in the gay community?

Drew: I see a problem with everybody.  And no one wants to take responsibility.  AA is great, unless it becomes an addiction itself.  I hate when people try to force their sobriety on me.  It’s no different from meth, as far as I’m concerned.  I grew up in the South, where NO ONE is an alcoholic (haha) and now I live in Los Angeles, where EVERYONE is an addict (umm… no – you’re just boring and needy).  So, there has to be a happy medium.  I love the nightlife- I also trust myself to make moderate choices.  I respect anyone’s desire to be drug-fueled crazy or stone-cold sober, but please don’t evangelize!

 A B:  I have been eating up your show Glitter in the Garbage like pudding. Are there any topics off-limits? 

Drew: Thank you!  I try to be nice to my family. I love them so much, and I don’t ever want to hurt their feelings or scare them.  Everyone else, you’re fair game!  I also try to remain tongue in cheek – I’m nobody, so when I bash a celebrity, I hope people realize that I’m willingly giving that person more power/stature than I have.  Except for that bitch Maya Angelou.  Take it, lady! 

A B: If you could sit down all republicans and teach then one lesson, what would that be? 

Drew: Blow Job School!

A B: Drew, do you have any fetishes? Such as diaper wearing? Tell us something deep and meaningful. 

Drew: Ha!  I’m so boring.  If I had a fetish, I think it’d have to involve billowing capes, stern dragons, and boundless mystery.  Yes, I’m a 3rd grade teacher lady with Zinfandel and cats. 

A B:  So, I asked my readers via the interweb, via Facebook if they had any dying questions. Here are a couple of things your (Chloe) fans want to know : 

1What’s an appropriate substitute for one personal package of King’s Hawaiian Sweetbread after you are banned from your local sweetbread depot? 

Drew: Cracker meat.

2The semicolon: an object of scorn, or a useful alternative to  the oppressive colon? 

Drew: Only employ the semicolon when composing a hand-written tale.  Otherwise, avoid!

3:  What are imitation pants made from? 

Drew: Polystyrene, empathy, and treason.

Drew Droege – The Groundlings Theater: Improv and Comedy Teacher

 A B: Are you working on any project that you are really excited about and looking forward to sharing with the world (me)?  

Drew: I’m developing a new solo show about playing Chloe – it’s premiering at the Afterglow Festival in Provincetown in September – I’d LOVE to do it in San Francisco when I’m there in October (HINT).  And I have some movies coming out – “Eating Out: Drama Camp” (which just premiered on Logo), “Sassy Pants”, and “Freak Dance”, which hopefully will be in theatres soon.  And I’m doing a new web series with Jim Hansen, costarring Jeffery Self, who’s just a delight.

A B: Drew, so this one time I had this wild trip on 10 hits of acid and hallucinated a fictional story revolving around three talking unicorns – Feathers, Cadillac and Tom Cruise. No wait, that’s real!! That’s a web series you are involved in called Planet Unicorn. Is this something you still are working on? 

Drew: God, I wish.  “Planet Unicorn” brought me so much joy.  And my first taste of internet attention, so that was really awesome.  People used to overhear me at parties and come up and say “Are you Feathers?” Mike Rose is a bonafide genius. We still make videos together but have no plans for more Planet Unicorn.  I hope we bring it back, though. Dan Savage just talked about us on his podcast, so we’re still floating around the ether.

 A B: What are some must do things to do while visiting Hollywood? 

Drew: Find Vanna White!  She’s usually at Pinkberry.

A B: What are some professional goals or dreams of yours?

Drew: I want to do what I’m doing forever. I just want to stick around and make stuff until I stop breathing.

 A B: What’s next on your plate?

Drew: I’m directing a musical, “The Jersey Shoresical” (yup), which is currently running in LA and then going to the New York Fringe Festival in August.  The show is hilarious and I’m so lucky to have such a team of bat-shit talented actors and musicians.  I want to smush with all of them.

A B:  What are you doing right after you fill out these brilliant questions?

I’m going for a late afternoon stroll through the hills of Griffith Park.  Later tonight I’m doing a show at M Bar, which is a small comedy/music space in Hollywood.  Then, I’m meeting a friend for drinks in Santa Monica.  After that, we’ll probably hold up a liquor store and shame-fuck in a church. 

A B: Thanks for playing and don’t be a stranger. Do, you having closing comments for yours and Chloe fans? 

Drew: Thank you, from the bottom of my sarcastic chunk wedges (by Nine West)!!

3 Comments to “We Peeled Back Chloe’s Mask and Found Comedian Drew Droege | Rib-tickling Interview”

  1. I’m proud of ya ..keep up the work.. if you are ever in Dallas let me know I’m there.

  2. I am obsessed with his Chloe videos — and in a testament to Drew’s genius, so is my heterosexual brother. What a great interview!

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