I just wrestled a wild, mysterious, gorgeous and stinky wild animal for you named CHRISTEENE, who has been handed the title ‘Drag Terrorist” on a silver platter. Tranquilizers did not work so I had to strategically reel CHRISTEENE in with food scraps and then I pounced hard, swinging with questions. In 2009 singer CHRISTEENE mysteriously appeared in the conservative state of Texas and was mostly spotted within its capital city, Austin. Reporters and private investigators have not been able to get the bottom of his/her age, origin, race, religion and even gender leaving the public to rely primarily on an impressive and highly stylized collection of music videos. My first CHRISTEENE sighting was when it’s video for the song “Fix My Dik” landed in my email inbox and boy did it stink (in a good way). For hours I danced to its track and then masturbated to CHRISTEENE’s dirty & sleazy back up boy’s T-Gravel and C-Baby. From that day forth CHRISTEENE has been a dirty stain in my mind and I wanted more.
“Reports from live shows describe scenes involving butt plugs tied to bouquets of balloons being released into the air from CHRISTEENE’s arse, intimate and bizarre confessionals over tea, backup boys urinating on canvas bags containing the singer, and a wardrobe styled from the scraps of society…classifiable as ‘Dumpster Couture’. The singer’s impressive sound arsenal includes a wide range of musical appreciation and mastery ranging from Electro to R&B, Hip Hop to Dub Step, with titles including ‘Fix My Dick’ ‘Tears From My Pussy’ and ‘African Mayonnaise’. All songs are written by CHRISTEENE and present an intimate and fascinating glimpse into the personal experiences of this talented nightmare.” christeene.org
Interview:
Accidental Bear: I just read on your website that you appeared in Austin sometime in 2009. Would that be dropped from an alien ship or you dug your way out from the earth? Either way you are dirty rotten hot.
CHRISTEENE: Diz sheeeet is STANK HAWT an I doo like too push it out ferr da boyz an baybeeez out derr in da wurld ya’lllz. Austin been my nay nay place fer a while now. Iz hawt as SHIT here an i wish all u people can cum an play up in diz nugget when u can wit me haaaay.
A B: As a small child did you dream of being on stage?
CHRISTEENE: whut ?
A B: If you were locked in a 12×12 room with 10 sweaty, bearded, construction workers, a pepperoni pizza, chop sticks a lube for 24hr (not toilet) what might happen in that room?
CHRISTEENE: I would take da chop stix an pic da lock den I would go down da street to dat place wherr u doo da laundry an watch da clothes spin in da hot box machine.
A B: What kind of emotions stir inside of you if I say stinky pinky?
CHRISTEENE: make me feel like when da pigs lay in poo poo but dey got party hats on an dey shittin little people out derr buh holes dat dance when you throw da poo poo at dem.
A B: Where have your musical influences came from?
CHRISTEENE: I travel wit my backup boyz an when we in a new place we alwayz cuttin up an makin goood trouble wit each other an den a song cums up in my head and we sang it back an forth and den we lay it down riyeet.
A B: Do you play any instruments? Skin flute?
CHRISTEENE: i just sang
A B: Are you the queen of ‘Dumpster Couture’ ?
CHRISTEENE: i juz like too find da pieces of my places an all dat sheeet dat people alwayz chunkin out cuz they think iz no good an i kiss it wit Oprah Angelz an put it on my azz
Photo: Elias Johansson
A B: Is your debut album, ‘Waste Up, Kneez Down’, set to be released in 2011 on track? What’s going to be the vibe of album?
CHRISTEENE: Iz droppin out like a hawt plate haaaay! Me n JJ Booya all close too sealin it up ferr da end of da year an Im real real all stanked bout it. Da vibe is like a buffet at piccadilly yallz….derr a piece uh somethin dat all u hungry fuckers can put up in dat mouth hole.
The debut album from CHRISTEENE, ‘Waste Up, Kneez Down’, is set to be released in 2011, fresh off the heels of the EP ‘Soldier of Pleasure’, which is currently on sale at christeene.org.
A B: What kind of audience do you hope to show up to your performance?
CHRISTEENE: I like da crowd dat is allll mixed up wit every mess uh people who dont know whut da fuck dey lookin at but wanna keep lookin u know?
A B: Have you ever had anything thrown up on stage to you that even you, got slightly?
CHRISTEENE: sum ass necks threw a beer can at me an da boyz one time an i asked da troll ta cum up on stage an meet me ferr real an dey scared away like chicken doody.
AB: Will you be at Folsom Street Fair this year?
CHRISTEENE: not diz year so sadly…butt we wurkin on a lil showtime in da future. i luv sum folsom boyz so hard
A B: If you were to be on the cover of tomorrow paper, what might be the reason?
CHRISTEENE: i saved a puppy
A B: Who would you love to do a romantic down and dirty duet with?
CHRISTEENE: i wuld drown a old man to do a round wit Aerea Negrot
A B: Lastly do you have a message for your fans?
CHRISTEENE: Wash dem hands after u put yer fanger in ur buh hole too smell if it clean after u poop
Accidental Bear 
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