Posts tagged ‘Austin Texas’

August 16, 2011

INTERVIEW: Drag Terrorist CHRISTEENE Plays with Accidental Bear & There’s a lot of Stank Mentioned

by Accidental Bear

I just wrestled a wild, mysterious, gorgeous and stinky wild animal for you named CHRISTEENE, who has been handed the title ‘Drag Terrorist” on a silver platter. Tranquilizers did not work so I had to strategically reel CHRISTEENE in with food scraps and then I pounced hard, swinging with questions. In 2009 singer CHRISTEENE mysteriously appeared in the conservative state of Texas and was mostly spotted  within its capital city, Austin. Reporters and private investigators have not been able to get the bottom  of his/her age, origin, race, religion and even gender leaving the public to rely primarily on an impressive and highly stylized collection of music videos. My  first CHRISTEENE sighting was when it’s video for the song “Fix My Dik” landed in my  email inbox and boy did it stink (in a good way). For hours I danced to its track and then masturbated to CHRISTEENE’s dirty & sleazy back up boy’s T-Gravel and C-Baby. From that day forth CHRISTEENE has been a dirty stain in my mind and I wanted more.

Reports from live shows describe scenes involving butt plugs tied to bouquets of balloons being released into the air from CHRISTEENE’s arse, intimate and bizarre confessionals over tea, backup boys urinating on canvas bags containing the singer, and a wardrobe styled from the scraps of society…classifiable as ‘Dumpster Couture’. The singer’s impressive sound arsenal includes a wide range of musical appreciation and mastery ranging from Electro to R&B, Hip Hop to Dub Step, with titles including ‘Fix My Dick’ ‘Tears From My Pussy’ and ‘African Mayonnaise’.  All songs are written by CHRISTEENE and present an intimate and fascinating glimpse into the personal experiences of this talented nightmare.” christeene.org 

 I peeled back all the warning labels screaming WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT at  me and tried to get to the bottom of this deep, dark hole that we have all learned to love, CHRISTEENE.

Interview:

Accidental Bear: I just read on your website that you appeared in Austin sometime in 2009. Would that be dropped from an alien ship or you dug your way out from the earth? Either way you are dirty rotten hot.

CHRISTEENE: Diz sheeeet is STANK HAWT an I doo like too push it out ferr da boyz an baybeeez out derr in da wurld ya’lllz. Austin been my nay nay place fer a while now. Iz hawt as SHIT here an i wish all u people can cum an play up in diz nugget when u can wit me haaaay. 

A B: As a small child did you dream of being on stage?

CHRISTEENE: whut ?

A B: If you were locked in a 12×12 room with 10 sweaty, bearded, construction workers, a pepperoni pizza, chop sticks a lube for 24hr (not toilet) what might happen in that room?

CHRISTEENE: I would take da chop stix an pic da lock den I would go down da street to dat place wherr u doo da laundry an watch da clothes spin in da hot box machine. 

A B: What kind of emotions stir inside of you if I say stinky pinky?

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